Screaming for Clarity

So, you know that whole 'I'm trying to cut back on alcohol' thing? Hasn't been working the past two weeks. I fucking fail.

Anyway, it's become apparent that a girl I have been interested in has recently begun a relationship with someone (I think I might know who, but it remains to be seen). Now, I consider myself (and others consider me) and intelligent guy, but my IQ with women does not break the bank at all. I am just completely clueless when it comes to women and reading them.

Anyone else feel like I've had this post before in here? I think I have and I can't remember because I'm a bit hungover and don't feel like checking, so deal with it.

I do have a date with someone this weekend, so we'll see how that goes.

On to more pertinent things that I can remedy in a short term time frame:

I am going to begin looking for a new job soon. I want a job where I can 'climb the ladder' so to speak and have the opportunity to attain a management position somewhere. I can't do that where I currently am. It's going to be weird going fro a casual environment to one where I have to wear a suit every day.

The hard part comes in when I should tell my boss. I am thinking whichever comes first: getting a job offer or if I am asked for references.

That's it for now

Poetry in 3s, Part 4

Crimson Tide

Textured satisfaction bulging
Bitter scarlet-stained bodies
Souls indulged and laughing
faces emptied into body bags
Saturated from overflowing promise
and infinite potential

Crossing the Rubicon

Something in the way

Is keeping me down

The feelings inside me

Are overcome by this sensation

This sensation of esoteric being

It’s calling you to join it

But reluctance sets in

And you hesitate

And you can’t go back

Because you have passed

The point of no return

Damsel in Distress

Pretentious tendencies
fill your vacant mind
for subtle atrocities

I just want
what's best for you
as you turn me away

2+2=5

So, it's been a while since I've written in this thing. I don't know if that was by choice or by sheer laziness. Not much has changed since then. I'm still frustrated over women I like. I'm still frustrated over my purpose in life and I'm still frustrated over why Allison Janney is so damn sexy for her age.

Anyway, I think it's the whole mid-midlife crisis thing? I heard it called a quarter-life crisis, but I think that's a misnomer since that would mean my average life span is 100, but we're arguing over semantics. I just feel like I'm kinda alone in this whole thing. I mean, I have dudes and gals I hang with and shit, but for some reason it feels like it's not complete.

I'm much happier than I was about 4 years ago. I guess that's a start for this whole thing. Though, happiness here is kinda vague since I'm 'happier', but not 'happy'. I'm not as pissed off as I used to be because I found somewhere I can call home and a good group of friends, but, yet again, something is not complete.

I hope I can find what makes me complete.