So, this is this first time I've been home on a Friday night in I don't remember how long. I had the opportunity to go to a birthday party tonight, but I obviously passed up on the opportunity. One reason being I'm just worn out from weeks and weeks of unrest, trouble sleeping and not resting on the weekends like I should. I don't attribute my sleeping difficulties to stress as my job isn't really stressful. I think I just need to get a consistent sleep cycle going and go to bed earlier.
Anyway, I'm home. This girl's house (not the one who is having a birthday. She lives with her though) is about 35 minutes away (though it doesn't seem that far away) and is a drive east towards Indiana in the middle of Ohio farm country. If I would have gone, I wouldn't have been drinking given the new rules to myself (which I subsequently broke the past two days, but one was to get free food and the other was a drink with my meal, which is one of the stipulations I set) regarding alcohol. I just think if I went and didn't drink, I would find being there more boring. The last time I was there, I was drinking at a nice clip so it wasn't to the point where I was really drunk, but I was feeling good and had a buzz, but it wasn't full blown. Even then, something about the group of people struck me as boring and unimaginative. I don't know if it's because that group has known each other for longer or what. I know them all from a bar down the street (which is basically a real life version of Cheers).
I don't know if that says something about me as a person or how I happen to perceive other people. There aren't many people who can connect with me on an equivalent level intellectually. I don't know if that's because many people in our generation are disinterested about being intellectual outside of work and just want to blow off steam on a Friday night or if it's because our generation is just not as intellectual as previous generations have been.
On the other hand, it may have progressed to the point where I was using alcohol as a crutch to FIND people interesting (Alcohol: The healthy alternative to a boring society!...?) along with using it as a crutch for other things.
Just seems like I wouldn't have had a good time regardless. The girl who owns the house is the girl I mentioned in the second blog post. I mean, a good reason to go up there would have been to just chat her up and whatnot, but the events from last time led to a moderate level of discouragement. Just bothersome to my self-esteem and my willingness to take the next step.
Anyway, it's 12:30 here in the Midwestern Abyss and I just got finished watching the movie Heat. What a fucking intense movie that was. Pacino and DeNiro are naturals and two of the best actors ever. Some great scene work from them.
Now I have CNBC on and I'll probably watch that until I fall asleep.
Later on, world
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The bit about needing alchohol as a crutch to find people (or at least the generic bar conversation/gathering) interesting struck a chord with me , especially after last night.
ReplyDeleteThe mindless, empty drivel that passes for social interaction at a bar really came to alight "anew" last night when I offered to DD.
Unstimulating conversation, with all the guys keeping one eye on the prosepctive whores the entire night and the most intelligent conversation provoking topic being the NFL Draft.
Societal Devolution, and we're all having to much fun being drunk to notice.
Also: Having a set sleep schedule is key to getting good sleep. Having it as dark as possible, as well as turning off all the electronics around you that you can, will also help. I don't know if you sleep with a fan going but the white noise can really help as well.