Comments on Florida

So, as some of you may know, I am currently on a long needed vacation in St. Augustine Florida. I will chronicle what I have done so far since I've been here

Wednesday evening: Unpacked after a 13 hour drive and started my laptop up (which is awesome btw)

Thursday: Just kinda sat around and fooled on my laptop for a while since my dad had to attend some meeting with the rest of the homeowners

Friday: I woke up and wondered what day it was. It was a nice feeling. Drove into St. Augustine proper and explored the city. There's a ton of neat things there: the oldest parish in the nation, one of the oldest forts in the nation, the oldest wooden school house in the nation, etc. Just loads of history there. I also saw one of the biggest dogs I've ever seen there, a Newfoundlander. The fucking thing is a cross between a Great Dane (in size) and a Saint Bernard (in color scheme and fur). Beautiful dog.

Saturday: My brother in law (Dan) and his friend Jae arrive in the morning. I can't remember what we did that day.

Sunday: Played golf for the first time in a year. I kept score for the first few holes and then got frustrated and stopped until the back nine. I ended up drinking a few beers before the back nine and started par birdie bogie. I ended up with a 45, which is about an average score for me for nine holes. I got sunburn to shit and I am feeling it today.

Today: Went to the World Golf Hall of Fame and St. Augustine again. Had a really good ale at A1A Ale Works down in St. Auggie's; would recommend to anyone traveling in these parts.

Tomorrow: Visiting University of Northern Florida as a possible choice for grad school I think.

I will update tomorrow

The Qualms With Dating

So, about a month ago I received an IM from someone on OK Cupid (they have their own built in IM system). OK Cupid, for those who are unaware, is a free dating site (though they implemented their own pay system for those who want 'perks'). We were talking on the IM while I was at work and she gave me her number and told me to call her later. Around 8 or 9 PM, I gave her a call and she started talking about me and what I was thinking and who I was as a person and, oddly enough, she was correct in her thinking. I opted to meet her that same evening and drove to pick her up at her relatives' house (she lived with her aunt and uncle at that point).

Let me talk about this girl for a minute. She is 20 and was raped at 19. She was physically and sexually abused when she was younger and her mom died of cancer and her dad killed himself a week after the mom died. Pretty much, anything that could go wrong in your life went wrong in hers.

I picked her up at her home and we went to the b-dubs right down the street and chatted about whatever while I had a few beers. Later that evening, I kissed her on the forehead and thanked her for just actually being able to 'figure me out'. That turned to making out and such. I took her home later and went to work the next day and I was texting her throughout the day and such and everything was fine.

Here's where it starts going wrong:

I think that weekend (can't be sure of the day anymore), we planned to get together and I just kept having weird feelings like she was my enemy and that I was dreading actually hanging out with her. I'm not sure if this is some sign of anxiety issues or what, but I know it's not going to be healthy for me in the future.

So, we go around and look at TVs since I'm interested in getting a flat screen TV soon and we get some ice cream and then she starts crying because she knows that I'm getting distant emotionally etc etc. She is leaving for TN in a few weeks before school starts and was planning to go to school in TX. So, I start crying because I feel bad for letting her down and knowing that this is something that is hard for me to do (not be emotionally distant/dread hanging with people/etc). We go back to my apartment and I pour my heart out to her while we're lying on my bed and I take her home a few hours later.

I'll sum up the next part since it will end up being quite long if I don't:

So, we hang out again the next weekend and it's great. We're talking and laughing and having no ill thoughts or anything. A week later, she goes to TN and plans on coming back in a few weeks. Well, she ends up staying there indefinitely. Of course, I start becoming emotionally distant again, but I talk to her everyday to help with these tendencies. Some nights are good, some nights are bad. The fact is that it was a functional relationship.

Fast forward to last weekend: I am hanging out at the bar with some of my friends and I start having weird feelings like I'm single again. I guess this is normal since I've been single for so long, but it didn't feel right to me. I talk to her on Sunday and suggest that this might not be the thing for me and I'm afraid of doing something I'd regret, which could be seen as trying to find a way out of the realtionship.

August 17: I get a text from her saying that she only wants to be friends now. I can't recall what my reply was, but it was something along the lines of 'Okay, but I feel sad now'. Then she replies 'I'm so scared right now' and the conversation continues on until she says that she loves me and then I tell her I don't love her like she loves me because I can't commit to something like that when I'm unsure about it. So, we basically broke up over text messaging and I would have preferred to do it over the phone, but I was at work and it fucking happened, so whatever.

August 18, around 11:30 PM, she calls me. We talk about making amends and ending the relationship amicably. We talk about the relationship and how it was a functional one etc, etc and then she says 'Do you have anything to say?'

My response: No

Her: Not even 'I'm sorry for this."?

Me: No

I didn't know what I could say to make things better since they weren't going to be better.

Her response: I can't believe this. I don't love you anymore and you are a mean spirited person

*call ends*

To be perfectly honest, I wasn't really into the relationship as much as she was in the first place. I was of the assumption that we would just date and whatnot and there would be no exclusivity between us. It doesn't really help the fact that we were a long distance apart and it's hard to maintain a long-term relationship like the one we had. I want to say she's just being naive because of how old she is, but I think it's naivety from both of us. She's only the second person I've had a relationship with so far. Both have been weird relationships and both have involved me being kinda jittery when meeting people (like canceling at the last minute because I have anxiety).

I really don't know if this is going to change or not or I just didn't find the right people yet.

I guess I'll see

The search continues...

Holy shit, I haven't updated in a while!

Summary:
I got a new computer
Currently in FLA on vacation
I am no longer seeing a girl I met about a month ago

That is all.

My hard drive died

Yes, my laptop's HDD is as dead as Billy Mays. I don't have the cash to buy a Mac right now (well, I have the cash but I don't want to go into self-loathing mode), so I will stick with something under 1k that will suit my needs (internetz, music, digital foetoes, etc). I will also look for something that would be decent for playing the occasional game of DoD. I was afraid the Dell I have currently wouldn't run games very well, but I'm not sure that's an issue with a new machine. I would love to be able to play DoD again.

Anyway, outside of work I will have sporadic access to the internet until I bite the bullet and shell out of jew tokens on a new computer. I might hit up the library on 1-2 Saturdays per month to get my internet fix (lol libraries? those still exist?).

At least now, this gives me the option of doing other things I would only do sporadically during the week (read, stop being sloppy on the bass, etc) for the time being.

Don't know when I'll update this again. I don't really update it much anyway, but meh

SCOTUS says bankruptcy rules don't matter; tells bondholders to suck it

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D98NEVL80&show_article=1

The Supreme Court has cleared the way for Chrysler's sale to Fiat, turning down a last-ditch bid by opponents of the deal.

The court said late Tuesday it had rejected a plea to block the sale of most of Chrysler's assets to the Italian automaker. Chrysler, Fiat and the Obama administration had warned that the high court's intervention could have scuttled the sale.

A federal appeals court in New York had earlier approved the sale, but gave opponents until Monday afternoon to try to get the Supreme Court to intervene.

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg ordered a temporary delay just before a 4 p.m. deadline on Monday.

Now the court has freed the automakers to complete their deal.

THIS IS A BREAKING NEWS UPDATE. Check back soon for further information. AP's earlier story is below.

NEW YORK (AP)—Chrysler returned to bankruptcy court Tuesday to get a judge to approve the termination of 789 dealer franchises, while its plan to partner with Italy's Fiat hung in limbo as the automaker awaited action by the nation's highest court.

The sale of Chrysler's assets to Fiat Group SpA had been expected to close more than a week ago, but Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's decision to delay the sale now threatens to derail Chrysler's restructuring plans.

In a brief filed with the Supreme Court Tuesday afternoon, Chrysler and Fiat warned that the deal will terminate if it does not close by June 15. While a new agreement could be negotiated, there's no guarantee that one will be reached or that Chrysler will be able to be jump start its operations after the deadline, they said.

In bankruptcy court, more than 25 attorneys representing hundreds of dealers from across the country argued that little would be gained by terminating their franchises, while Chrysler maintained that the move is a necessary part of its plan to cut costs and quickly emerge from Chapter 11.

Arguments ended early Tuesday afternoon and U.S. Judge Arthur Gonzalez said he would issue his ruling later in the day.

Many of the dealers were selling the last cars on their lots and preparing to shut their doors for good at the end of the day, while others planned to sell used cars or other brands after severing ties with Chrysler.

The Auburn Hills, Mich., automaker has been flying through five weeks of bankruptcy proceedings and appeared all but certain to complete the sale of its assets to Fiat before the June 15 deadline. But Ginsburg issued a stay Monday to review an appeal by a trio of Indiana pension and construction funds which own a small part of Chrysler's secured debt.

The delay may be only temporary. Ginsburg could decide on her own whether to end the stay, or she could ask the full court to decide.

Fiat has the right to walk away from Chrysler after June 15 and leave the struggling U.S. automaker with little option but to liquidate. But a Fiat spokesman said Tuesday that the Italian automaker will not turn its back on a deal despite the Supreme Court stay.

Indiana officials, representing the state funds challenging the Chrysler sale, submitted a short statement to the Supreme Court Tuesday that calls attention to Fiat's statement.

"The Indiana Pensioners respectfully submit that the risk of termination by Fiat if the transaction does not close by June 15 no longer provides a basis for driving the timing of these proceedings," the officials said.

Responding to the Indiana funds later Tuesday, Chrysler and Fiat said that the sale agreement will terminate automatically if the sale doesn't close by the deadline, and there's no guarantee that they could negotiate a new deal.

"Given Chrysler's precipitous state, every day past June 15 increases the risk that Chrysler's business will not be able to restart successfully," the company said.

Meanwhile, the Obama administration said in a separate filing that each day of delay consumes more of the financing provided by the government.

"If the closing is delayed by more than approximately 10 days, a sufficient amount of the current commitment of debtor-in-possession financing from the United States will have been consumed as to require the government either to increase its overall funding to the detriment of taxpayers, or abandon its role in the transaction," the administration said.

Production at Chrysler's manufacturing plants remains halted pending the closing of the sale. Chrysler, which says it is losing $100 million every day its plants are closed, said it had no comment until it receives further information from the court.

Chrysler's ability to speed through the bankruptcy process has partially been a result of the involvement of the Obama administration's auto task force, which provided $4.5 billion in financing and helped negotiate a deal between the company's stakeholders.

Under a deal brokered in the days leading up to Chrysler's April 30 Chapter 11 filing, Fiat will receive up to a 35 percent stake in the new company created by the sale, in exchange for sharing the technology Chrysler needs to create smaller, more fuel-efficient vehicles.

The United Auto Workers will get a 55 percent stake that will be used to fund its retiree health care obligations, while the U.S. and Canadian governments will receive a combined 10 percent stake.

Meanwhile, the automaker's secured debtholders would get $2 billion in cash, or about 29 cents on the dollar, for their combined $6.9 billion in debt. Some of the debtholders balked at the deal, saying as secured lenders they deserved more.

The Indiana funds filed an objection to the sale and later appealed to the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals and the Supreme Court. They claim the sale unfairly favors Chrysler's unsecured stakeholders such as the union ahead of secured debtholders like themselves.

The funds also are challenging the constitutionality of the Treasury Department's use of money from the Troubled Asset Relief Program to supply Chrysler's bankruptcy protection financing. They say the government did so without congressional authority.

The funds hold about $42.5 million, or less than 1 percent, of Chrysler's $6.9 billion in secured debt. They bought it in July 2008 for 43 cents on the dollar.

The appeals come as Congress scrutinizes the Obama administration's restructuring of Chrysler and GM. The Senate Banking Committee said it planned to call Ron Bloom, a senior adviser to the auto task force, and Edward Montgomery, who serves as the Obama administration's director of recovery for auto communities and workers, to a hearing Wednesday.

Basically, the Supreme Court told the Indiana bondholders that they didn't matter and that the UAW, which has done nothing but hurt the auto industry over the past 2 decades (AT LEAST) with their constant demands to improve benefits and wages that allow some workers (who do nothing but put a fucking door on a goddamn car frame) to make more than an inner city school teacher who tries to make the world a better place every day and, in some instances, puts their person in harms way EVERY FUCKING DAY (WHAT THE FUCK MOTHERFUCKER?!), to get a 55% stake in Chrysler so they can pay for outstanding health care obligations? These are the same fucking people who refused to give adequate concessions when they were in the thick of the shit because they are greedy and ruthless and refuse to be left out in the cold and wants the MIGHTY MESSIAH OBAMA to save them and their precious health benefits.

What about the Indiana bondholders and all of the people who are participating in the pension plans? They got a measly 29 cents on the dollar for all of the debt they had when, with proper bankruptcy rules, they are FIRST on the list (after creditors like outside merchants of course) to receive payment for their investment. The UAW doesn't care though. They don't care that these people need that money to retire whereas some 25 year old line worker doesn't need shit and has marketable fucking skills he can take to another manufacturing job.

(For those unaware of how the garnishing of funds works in a bankruptcy:

From the Chapter 11 bankruptcy wiki:

As a general rule secured creditors—creditors who have a security interest, or collateral, in the debtor's property—will be paid before unsecured creditors. Unsecured creditors' claims are prioritized by § 507. For instance the claims of suppliers of products or employees of a company may be paid before other unsecured creditors are paid. Each priority level must be paid in full before the next lowest priority level may receive payment.

From the Chapter 7 bankruptcy wiki:

Fully-secured creditors, such as collateralized bondholders or mortgage lenders, have a legally-enforceable right to the collateral securing their loans or to the equivalent value, a right which cannot be defeated by bankruptcy. A creditor is fully secured if the value of the collateral for its loan to the debtor equals or exceeds the amount of the debt. For this reason, however, fully-secured creditors are not entitled to participate in any distribution of liquidated assets that the bankruptcy trustee might make.

So, in short, it goes:
1) Senior debtholders
2) Junior debtholders
3) Preferred shareholders
4) Common shareholders

In this case, the Indiana bondholders are #1 on that list and should rightfully get all of their collateral back, not the greedy assholes at UAW just so they can go to the hospital when they have the sniffles and won't have to pay out of pocket (we can't let THAT happen)

I understand this isn't technically a bankruptcy for Chrysler, but there's still a good case to be made here concerning the secured debtholders getting the shaft in favor of the UAW (who is getting a bigger stake than the company PURCHASING Chrysler. Another example of why unions are greedy and antiquated)

This is just another example of big government taking hold of another piece of the American dream. It's another example of capitalism dying a slow and terrible death.

Socialism is coming, folks, and it's going to be ugly

Screaming for Clarity

So, you know that whole 'I'm trying to cut back on alcohol' thing? Hasn't been working the past two weeks. I fucking fail.

Anyway, it's become apparent that a girl I have been interested in has recently begun a relationship with someone (I think I might know who, but it remains to be seen). Now, I consider myself (and others consider me) and intelligent guy, but my IQ with women does not break the bank at all. I am just completely clueless when it comes to women and reading them.

Anyone else feel like I've had this post before in here? I think I have and I can't remember because I'm a bit hungover and don't feel like checking, so deal with it.

I do have a date with someone this weekend, so we'll see how that goes.

On to more pertinent things that I can remedy in a short term time frame:

I am going to begin looking for a new job soon. I want a job where I can 'climb the ladder' so to speak and have the opportunity to attain a management position somewhere. I can't do that where I currently am. It's going to be weird going fro a casual environment to one where I have to wear a suit every day.

The hard part comes in when I should tell my boss. I am thinking whichever comes first: getting a job offer or if I am asked for references.

That's it for now

Poetry in 3s, Part 4

Crimson Tide

Textured satisfaction bulging
Bitter scarlet-stained bodies
Souls indulged and laughing
faces emptied into body bags
Saturated from overflowing promise
and infinite potential

Crossing the Rubicon

Something in the way

Is keeping me down

The feelings inside me

Are overcome by this sensation

This sensation of esoteric being

It’s calling you to join it

But reluctance sets in

And you hesitate

And you can’t go back

Because you have passed

The point of no return

Damsel in Distress

Pretentious tendencies
fill your vacant mind
for subtle atrocities

I just want
what's best for you
as you turn me away

2+2=5

So, it's been a while since I've written in this thing. I don't know if that was by choice or by sheer laziness. Not much has changed since then. I'm still frustrated over women I like. I'm still frustrated over my purpose in life and I'm still frustrated over why Allison Janney is so damn sexy for her age.

Anyway, I think it's the whole mid-midlife crisis thing? I heard it called a quarter-life crisis, but I think that's a misnomer since that would mean my average life span is 100, but we're arguing over semantics. I just feel like I'm kinda alone in this whole thing. I mean, I have dudes and gals I hang with and shit, but for some reason it feels like it's not complete.

I'm much happier than I was about 4 years ago. I guess that's a start for this whole thing. Though, happiness here is kinda vague since I'm 'happier', but not 'happy'. I'm not as pissed off as I used to be because I found somewhere I can call home and a good group of friends, but, yet again, something is not complete.

I hope I can find what makes me complete.

Poetry in 3s, Part 3

Classified Information

Privileged conversation
leads to drunk ambivalence
All the while I contemplate
your ulterior motive
on why your actions
don't dictate your words

Closing Time
Intentional intentions
and cool spring nights
enlighten my thoughts about you
Meeting for the first time
and spending all I can
to make you think I care
when it's all for nothing


Constant Delay
Intentions thatched in nothing
Flowers end in sudden wonder
A moment's departure
becomes righteous spoilage
Truth whispered
desire shattered
thoughts remembered
Forever more

Ozz stays home on a Friday night; bars simultaneously go out of business

So, this is this first time I've been home on a Friday night in I don't remember how long. I had the opportunity to go to a birthday party tonight, but I obviously passed up on the opportunity. One reason being I'm just worn out from weeks and weeks of unrest, trouble sleeping and not resting on the weekends like I should. I don't attribute my sleeping difficulties to stress as my job isn't really stressful. I think I just need to get a consistent sleep cycle going and go to bed earlier.

Anyway, I'm home. This girl's house (not the one who is having a birthday. She lives with her though) is about 35 minutes away (though it doesn't seem that far away) and is a drive east towards Indiana in the middle of Ohio farm country. If I would have gone, I wouldn't have been drinking given the new rules to myself (which I subsequently broke the past two days, but one was to get free food and the other was a drink with my meal, which is one of the stipulations I set) regarding alcohol. I just think if I went and didn't drink, I would find being there more boring. The last time I was there, I was drinking at a nice clip so it wasn't to the point where I was really drunk, but I was feeling good and had a buzz, but it wasn't full blown. Even then, something about the group of people struck me as boring and unimaginative. I don't know if it's because that group has known each other for longer or what. I know them all from a bar down the street (which is basically a real life version of Cheers).

I don't know if that says something about me as a person or how I happen to perceive other people. There aren't many people who can connect with me on an equivalent level intellectually. I don't know if that's because many people in our generation are disinterested about being intellectual outside of work and just want to blow off steam on a Friday night or if it's because our generation is just not as intellectual as previous generations have been.

On the other hand, it may have progressed to the point where I was using alcohol as a crutch to FIND people interesting (Alcohol: The healthy alternative to a boring society!...?) along with using it as a crutch for other things.

Just seems like I wouldn't have had a good time regardless. The girl who owns the house is the girl I mentioned in the second blog post. I mean, a good reason to go up there would have been to just chat her up and whatnot, but the events from last time led to a moderate level of discouragement. Just bothersome to my self-esteem and my willingness to take the next step.

Anyway, it's 12:30 here in the Midwestern Abyss and I just got finished watching the movie Heat. What a fucking intense movie that was. Pacino and DeNiro are naturals and two of the best actors ever. Some great scene work from them.

Now I have CNBC on and I'll probably watch that until I fall asleep.

Later on, world

Poetry in 3s, Part 2

Checked Baggage

As I move in
you move away
and leave me alone
Cell phones silent
from the night before
as I wait for my flight
to depart from grace

Chocolate Covered Reality

These chocolate covered moments
turn to sour grapes
as I formulate these theorems
that tell of life
and all it has to offer

Circuit Board

Circuits broken
meltdown commences
This chaotic life
nameless and faceless
guides me to nowhere
My destiny disappears
in a burst of fire
as the alarm sounds
warning of impending doom

Poetry in 3s, Part 1

Aluminum Structure

Hair in your face
like ghosts in a house
thinking of escaping
to the twilight
of a soul that burns
for something more
than a life
of burden
and despair

Bar Fly

Constant presence
and constant doubt
on your devotion to me
Questionable tendencies
lead to my blackened fate
as I open the fridge
and grab another beer

Carpet Burn Romance

Egregious tendencies
Force your tensions tighter
This carpet burn romance
You call your life
No longer breathes
As I choke it to death

Ozz attempts to quit drinking; Humanity to suck even more

So, I have decided to quit drinking. This is mainly an experiment as a whole as I've never really gone long periods without having alcohol. The longest I went was two weeks maybe?

Anyway, let me give you a little background on my decision:

I moved into an apartment about 3 months ago (has it been that long already?) and since then I have been drinking more and more, either out of boredom or out of loneliness. I started to get out of control when I would go out on the weekends since the bars were so close to my place. It would get to the point where I'd drive home and not even remember part of the night.

Well, I've known that was stupid for a while and I'm finally doing something about it. I can't really risk doing it anymore because there's too much at stake. I was on my way back from the fitness center at my complex and I ran into one of the leasing agents I have befriended. She told me how she had been in an accident not even 48 hours before. A 22 year old man had been driving his car down a side street with no lights on. He was speeding and had been drinking. He hit the girl's jeep (which she wasn't driving because she had her sister and her sister's boyfriend pick her up) and her sister's car. He totaled her car and the three victims are suing for damages, both emotional and physical.

I hear stuff like this every week it seems. It also doesn't help that I see more and more vehicles with the yellow plates now (the yellow plates signify that the person registered to drive the car has a suspended license due to an OVI (operating a vehicle impaired) conviction).

I'm 25 years old. I have a decent job, a decent car and I'm starting to figure out what it's like to be on my own. I can't go fuck that up by getting pulled over while driving drunk or by hitting a family and potentially killing someone inside.

I know there are other avenues to this. There are a few bars within walking distance I could go to and continue to drink, but it's just healthier in the long run to do this. I still plan on having a beer or something if I go out to eat at, say, Applebee's or something or if I'm not the one driving the car that night. Special events are also a reason to make an exception.

Usually, drinking would help me with my writing. It was the main catalyst in some of, what I feel are, the best poems I have written. Some of the greatest writers were drunks too (I think Hemingway was one). My writing will suffer because of this, but I haven't really been in the mood to write lately anyway. I think that's because I'm a bit happier than I was this time last year. I'm not as pissed off as I used to be.

Drinking was also a way to deal with the overall asininity of people. It was also a social lubricant in my case. I think I'll be a bit more shy now when I go out, but luckily I found a bar where I have become friends or good acquaintances with a good amount of people there, so hopefully things work out.

Another main reason for doing this is that my paternal grandfather was an alcoholic. He was a World War II veteran with a Silver Star and two Purple Hearts. He was injured in the war and was unable to walk well since then. He resorted to cheap whiskey as his comfort. Eventually he quit for a while, but then started up again after my Dad was out of college I think. I don't really remember how my Dad explained it and I don't feel like bringing it up again with him.

In my opinion, I thought I was going down that path. I thought I was using the bottle (or can as the case may be) for comfort. I thought I was using it to be my best friend when I already have good friends and family around me. It's not who I am and it's not what I want.

Goodbye old friend.

Any kind of Friday?

So, as some of you may or may not know, I have become more sociable since I have been on my own. There's really no reason to be anything else while on your own as you just become nothing ubt a recluse if you don't try and talk to other people.

Anyway, I started hanging out at this small Irish pub near my place when I moved out and I met a girl we'll call Deanna. Deanna is very attractive and very outgoing. I met her while some Killswitch Engage was playing on the jukebox and, being my usual self on a Friday night. was doing the whole air guitar thing. That's how our relationship started. So far, it has been nothing but a friendship. It took me three weeks to get her number because of how shy I am and how little I know about how to read body language and if a woman is interested in me.

I have friend saying she is interested in me, but I am not sure myself given my pessimistic and skeptical nature. I guess I am asking for advice in the matter, even though I probably shouldn't given all the ridicule that I might get.

Anyway, I really like this woman and would like to spend part of my life with her if the opportunity presented itself. Please tell me what I should do with the next step.

So it begins...

So, I had an account on LiveJournal and I have abandoned that and made a new journal. Why would I go to the trouble of making a new journal you ask? I was talking with my brother-in-law on Facebook Chat about how I have problems sleeping and he said writing in a journal helped him sleep better because he didn't have whatever was on his mind still on his mind when he went to sleep.

I have developed a mild case of insomnia, I guess. It's not to the point where I'm unable to sleep at all. I will just wake up 3 or 4 times during the night some nights and other nights I will be able to sleep through. I don't know if it's because I'm still not used to being in a different environment since I'm on my own or if it's just because I got my dad's genes and it was just inevitable for this to happen. I think, either way, this will be better because other people will be able to comment on this that aren't necessarily in my everyday life. I could have the same situation for LJ, but I had to make it private several years ago since people were vandalizing it for whatever reason.

With this, I start off with a clean slate and give other people some fodder for ridicule or comfort (whichever is easiest to digest?).

I will make another detailed post this evening. This was just an introductory post to pop the journal's cherry.